It was a big night on American Idol for anyone who didn’t catch the action. Here’s how it went down. They kicked off last night’s results show with some nonsense from Mark Antony and teasers about the upcoming performances from Sugarland and Jennifer Hudson . The Idols then performed a Motown number…badly, except for James Durbin. Then, lo and behold, Stevie Wonder himself graced us with his presence. Pretty cool. Steven Tyler did yet another secret product placement for Chico’s women’s wear, sporting multiple animal prints and the latest trends in jewelry layering. He actually wears woman’s wear pretty well. Like an oddly hot, but slightly masculine, Bea Arthur. Weird, right? Anyway, it’s his birthday so Stevie sings to him, and they presented him with a cool Warhol-ish painting.
Ok, back to the couches of dread…by the way, the idols ALL looked amazing last night, like they’re dressed for a bunch of Vegas weddings! First up, Scotty, Pia, and Lauren were called into the spotlight. Ryan tried to tease us, but we’ve watched this show before so we’re not totally naïve….they’re safe (of course). Then before more results, we’re treated to a new song by Sugarland – something about uh oh and glue. They sounded good in their uniquely twangy way, but I can’t help but think their last album made a lot of money, so why isn’t she dressed better? I know that at least Hudson will bring us some fashion tonight because she is showing off her new Weight Watchers body. You go girl…Next we were subjected to the week’s contestant video package – it seemed to be about wrestling and general mayhem at the Idol Mansion. I’m not sure that it made any of the Idol wannabe’s more appealing, but maybe that’s just because I’m not a WWE fan?
Next it’s back to results, with James and Paul at center stage. Seacrest tried to tell us they’re not safe, toying with us yet again, but the joke’s on us, because then came Hulk Hogan to tell us they both ARE safe, but Ryan isn’t. Some really terrible fake-punching ensued, and at least now I get the wrestling tie-in from the video segment. I personally think Idol just jumped the shark. What about you? The Hulk? For real? The one thing about this stunt that was actually funny is just how puny Ryan looks next to Hulk. The good news is that Paul and James are now safely cradled in their tour-worthy safety seats.
The next victims were Jacob, Thia, and Stefano. They don’t keep us in suspense long on Jacob – he’s safe. Both Thia and Stefano are in the Bottom 3.
The last Idols, Naima, Haley and Casey were called up. Naima is told she is safe, completely blowing my prediction (and my faith in the American electoral system!). Then we got our first REAL shocker of the season – Haley is safe too and Casey is in the Bottom 3. Wow – did not see that coming. I agree that last night, Haley was better than before, and that Casey wasn’t as good as usual, but seriously? My husband was ecstatic by the way as he’d much rather look at Haley’s legs for the next few weeks than Casey’s mug (I earlier said he looked like Seth Rogan, but now I’m thinking more Zach Galiflanakis. Do you agree?)
Ok, so the lowest votes this week were for Thia, Stefano, and Casey. Who will get to take their summer off? Who will go on tour? Who else will they haul out on stage tonight to relieve our boredom? Oh wait, they introduce a couple of Nascar people whom I totally don’t recognize as a stall tactic. Then, out comes Idol’s own Oscar winner, Jennifer Hudson, for whom the “Judges’ Save” was invented after she got robbed several seasons ago. She had an odd look on her face throughout her performance, like perhaps she was still bitter about the fact that back in her day, there was no “save” option. But, other than the grimace, she looks completely gorgeous and sounds amazing. By the way, she also makes Ryan look puny but that may be because of her 8-inch heels.
Back to the results, Ryan sent – NO WAY – IT CAN’T BE – he sent Thia back to safety. Truly unbelievable! I’m again reminding myself that when I make predictions, I need to keep in mind that it’s primarily 14 year olds who know how to text fast enough to actually vote multiple times. Of course, all those teens and tweens love Thia, no matter how lukewarm the judges are on her. Aye yi yi…
So, last night’s big loser was Casey, or was it? We’re then told that Stefan is safe and that means that Casey had to do a sudden death sing-off for the judges and hope for their mercy. He picked “I Don’t Need No Doctor” and doesn’t even get through the first verse, when the judges stopped him, saying “we know who you are Casey” and USE THE SAVE! I genuinely thought Casey was going to hyperventilate. He barely keeps it together, he’s so overcome with gratitude. Ms. Lopez schooled him on what she thought happened and coached him to “just be the musician that you are, and don’t bring any antics” or something like that. That actually sounded like good advice – rock on J. Lo.
Anyway, there you have it – nobody went home, so next week, we’ll have the Top 11, Part Deux. That means however that 2 people will go home next week so everyone better step it up! Casey included. I know I’ll be there to see it all go down. How about you?
For more recap information, thoughts and weekly updates, check out another favorite site, American Idol Net at: http://americanidolnet.com/.